oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She told me I should be a condom model.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
