She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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