Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
