THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
