Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
they need to just BURY HIM!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
