I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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