It's Friday. Sex?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
