i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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