At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
