I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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