I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
