How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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