THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
