the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
