So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
