I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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