Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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