just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
