He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
this hospital has no fireball
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
