Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
