i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
