Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
