I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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