I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
