she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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