Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
