I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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