Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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