pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
