Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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