at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
