While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
