Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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