She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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