There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
