i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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