I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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