so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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