Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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