you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm sobbing to NWA
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
