watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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