his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize