He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm really busy with my period
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
