have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
