he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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