Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
