My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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