butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
