so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
