She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think your dad took our porno
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
